The prospects of pulling a couple together after the shock of an emotional affair are complicated. The level of emotions involved are tripled because the person in the affair has lingering feelings outside the marriage, and the person who was cheated on feels even more hurt than if the affair were purely physical in nature. So, what exactly can be done to save a marriage after this mess has been created?
People cheat on their spouses every single day. Sometimes it is a one night stand and other times it purely physical but happens over a longer period of time. In some cases, it is a deep emotional bond that connects the spouse to someone outside the marriage in a more devastating way. When this occurs it is extremely hard for everyone involved to recover.
The first part of the journey lies with the spouse who actually had the affair. They must do some serious introspection to determine where their feelings truly lie. Is their heart still with this other person, or are their emotions for their spouse more intense? The emotions connected to the affair must be completely put out or at least seriously dampened if the marriage is to have a fighting chance.
If the connection of the affair has been broken, then the journey shifts focus to the other spouse.
Once the spouse that cheated has clearly stated that they want to save the marriage and are invested fully in doing so, it is up to the other spouse to open their heart and mind to that happening. They have every right to their own emotions, but in order for the union to survive they must be open to allowing trust to rebuild and new bonds to form within the couple.
Once both people are on board and ready to move forward, then a period of time will be needed to restore an intimate connection with one another. Trust will have to slowly build up again. The marriage may never go back to exactly where it was before the emotional affair, but an even stronger bond can be formed and a new sense of happiness brought to life.
The journey to save a marriage after this type of devastation must start with open communication. There are lots of hurt emotions at this point, but screaming or getting violent will not work. Both people must talk from the heart and really listen to one another. Then it's up to each person to take action on a daily basis to restore the flame that they once had for one another. This is not an overnight process, but it can in fact lead to an even happier marriage than what they experienced before the affair.
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